Tell Me If I'm Wrong?

Ok, that all is pretty much bound to mean she was at least trying to start a relationship with the guy. If she didn't feel guilty, she wouldn't have deleted the messages and emails. It sounds like she got caught up in the fantasy of having another life - which is a death trap in itself. It's good that he deleted her, but you can't be sure she won't do it again with someone else. I think you guys need to get some marriage counseling, some sort of outside help. That will help you know what to do. If she won't go, go by yourself - and decide what you want and what's best for you. She may not have done anything with this other guy, as far as anything ual, online or otherwise, but it sounds like she was thinking about it. Tell her your marriage is important to you and you want to get this figured out. Once you do that, the ball's in her court. How she responds and what she is willing to do toward that goal will help you know what to do.